The Perfectionist believes that there is a right answer or a right way to do something that will lead to the perfect result. And the perfect result is the one in which they get to avoid discomfort of any kind and get to feel ok within themself.

The Perfectionist gets pulled into overthinking when they either feel like they don’t know what that right answer is or they think they know what it is but they don’t think they’re able to attain it—or maintain it.

The Perfectionist typically has unreasonably high expectations of themselves and a low tolerance for not knowing and for making mistakes. It’s not enough for them to control what is uncontrollable—they seek to turn what feels uncontrollable into something perfect.

The Perfectionist’s quest for more information or the right or perfect solution to avoiding discomfort has two common paths—inaction or perpetual action. Inaction is based on the thought, “If I could just find the right answer/the right way I could take action,” whereas perpetual action is based on the thought, “If I could just find the right answer/the right way I could stop taking action and rest.”

Whether stuck in inaction or perpetual action, The Perfectionist’s mind is a hamster that is forever running on the “if I could just” wheel. They believe that this kind of thinking is what helps them optimize all situations.

In this way, The Perfectionist’s unique skill is complicating even the simplest of tasks. In fact, they’re suspect of anything that seems too easy. To The Perfectionist, they prove the worthiness of the outcome—or of themselves—through how much they had to grind and effort.

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NOW WHAT?

Is your mind already chewing on what all of this means?

Or maybe you’re second guessing your results…are you really another archetype??

And are you wondering how to apply the insights about your overthinking archetype to stop overthinking and start trusting yourself?

Don’t worry. I got you.

First, I encourage you to take a breath or two, and shake off any of the tightness in your body. You don’t have to figure anything out right now.

But here’s what you can do in the coming days to begin to integrate this information:

1. Start to become more aware of your body.

Because the difference between thinking and overthinking is in how it feels.

Overthinking is like your brain being at battle with itself. Your whole body feels tightly wound, especially your head, neck and shoulders. Your jaw is likely clenched or your brow is deeply creased. Your breath is shallow or you’re holding it, and your heart is beating fast. You might even feel nauseous.

When you’re overthinking, you tend to experience yourself as rigid, edgy or ungrounded. You might feel disconnected, unproductive or checked out, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed or anxious.

This is not who you are. This is you overthinking. And it can be shifted!

You can do something as simple as give your face and neck a quick massage, shake your arms and legs, give yourself a hug, go for a walk…or even sometimes it’s enough to sit or stand up taller to shift your thinking.

Why? Because your body is your greatest tell when it comes to overthinking, and it’s also your greatest ally. Using a bottom up approach (sending info from your body to your brain) is a powerful way to regulate your nervous system and to get you in touch with the inner resources that will help you stop the hamster wheel in your head.

2. Use your mantra.

When you find your body giving you all the overthinking tells, or you catch yourself ruminating on your core question, or you realize that your core fear is lurking under the surface…let that be your sign that it’s time to use your mantra.

Your archetype’s mantra is medicine that’s unique to your core fear. Saying it to yourself is a way of soothing the part of you who may feel scared and is trying to fix feeling scared by overthinking. (Which, by the way, isn’t helpful.)

I get it that it might feel awkward or fake to say your mantra to yourself at first, and that’s ok. But see if you can look for the part of yourself who might be open to letting the words in, or even potentially believing your new mantra. That’s the part of you who will befriend you in moments when your overthinking is taking over.

3. Take action. (Or not!)

As the Perfectionist, it’s like that you’re overthinking a next step in your personal or professional life as you wait for the right answer to come to you. If that’s you, your assignment is to risk being willing to make a choice and take imperfect action. Because remember, no matter what happens, you’re going to be kind to yourself, right?

Or! It’s possible your stuck in the other trap of The Perfectionist’s overthinking: being on a tear juggling multiple balls and thinking six steps ahead so you won’t make a wrong step.

If so, give yourself a time out from taking action. Pick a number of days (or weeks) that you’re going to set a decision or action aside and give yourself permission to not think about it.

I understand that these things might feel flimsy in the face of your mighty overthinking. But they aren’t…don’t underestimate the power of the message that changing one behavior sends to your brain.

But it IS only one part of the equation when it comes to shifting your experience.

Just as overthinking is just ONE form of self-sabotage that you’re probably doing.

Overthinking usually runs in the same crowd as things like not trusting your gut, not setting boundaries, and not believing that your insides get to matter. Sound familiar?

And when all of those troublemakers are hanging out with you, it’s hard to feel at home in your own skin. It’s hard to have a good experience of yourself, especially around other people.

Addressing the whole system of self-sabotaging behaviors takes an integrated and holistic approach that includes your body, brain, heart and nervous system.

For over two decades, I’ve been on a mission to give smart, sensitive, self-sabotaging people (like you) the practical tools they need to live in a way where their insides match their outsides and they are trustworthy to themselves.

Because like the “training” you got to NOT do that, changing your capacity to not just know better but do better is a matter of training.

So if you’re ready to have access to the entirety of the training you’d need to stop overthinking (and all the other behaviors on the self-sabotaging menu), I’ve made a signature program that encapsulates everything I’ve learned over the last 20+ years and that has helped hundreds of people like you stop sabotaging themselves and start trusting themselves.

It’s called Yours Truly.™ Click the video below to learn more!

(Pssst…if you don’t think you have the capacity to do the full program right now but you do want a quick and effective mini course (for only $36!) that will help you get at the root of your overthinking check out Yours Truly: The Initiation!)

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