The cost of houseguests

Tis the season for many things, including houseguests. 

For some of us, home feels warmer and cozier and more full of goodness when we have friends or loved ones staying with us.

For others of us, having house guests feels like a lot of heavy lifting, both practically and emotionally.

And for others of us, it’s a little of both.

One client recently put it this way: “I loved having our closest couple friends stay with us for two days, but I realized that for every day we have a house guest, I need a day and a half to recover because of all the managing I do.”

Sound familiar?

You put extra energy into clean bathrooms, special meals, and small touches of hospitality.

But more than that, maybe you also forgo your daily walk to spend time catching up, or you stay up later than you normally do even though you still have to get up early for work.

Nothing is wrong with any of that, except it’s something to consider if, like my client, you find yourself in recovery mode that takes you down for a few days.

Think planting yourself on the couch in a sloth-like manner, or not wanting to talk to anyone for a few days, or just plain old feeling worn the heck out.

Again, not the end of the world. But it’s also not necessary. Wouldn’t it be lovely to avoid that if possible? I think so.

Which means: look for ways you can not give too much of yourself away to houseguests so that you don’t need time to recuperate. 

It can be as simple as setting expectations with your guests: “I love that you’re here! And I just want to tell you, I’ll be a better human if I get time to take my daily solo walk (or nap or time with a book or…). We can start making those cookies when I get back!”

Or as simple as dropping your high expectations of yourself. Give your guests more of your presence and less of the bells and whistles you expect of yourself. Go slower, do less. I’m pretty sure it will feel like more in it’s own way.

I recognize that I keep saying that it’s simple, and it is. But I fully recognize it may not be easy. That’s ok. You’ve done hard things before. You can do this.

And though it may feel awkward or difficult to engage with your houseguests differently, it may just be worth it if it ends up not feeling so costly to you.

If you’re expecting house guests over the holidays, pause to consider: What do you want to do differently to not get overcome by managing so you can relate more?

Dare to give it a try.

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